We all know that the real reason universities have students is in order to educate the professors.
John Archibald Wheeler

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Computers are useless things : they only give you answers.
P. Picasso

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Science walks forward on two feet, namely theory and experiment.
Sometimes it is one foot which is put forward first, sometimes the other,
but continuous progress is only made by the use of both...
R. Millikan

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In science, new ideas are at first completely neglected,
later fiercely attacked, and finally regarded as well known.
Konrad Lorentz

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If your experiment needs statistics, you ought to have done
a better experiment.
Ernest Rutherfold

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After a year's research, one realizes that it could have been done
in a week.
Sir William Henry Bragg

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An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes, which can be made,
in a very narrow field.
Niels Bohr

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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Albert Einstein

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A great many people think they are thinking when they are
merely rearranging their prejudices.
William James

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If you can talk brilliantly enough about a problem, it can create
the consoling illusion that it has been mastered...
Stanley Kubrick

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The "hammer solutions" : when the only tool you have is a hammer,
the whole world begins to look like a nail.

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The fact that the author thinks slowly is not serious, but the fact that
he publishes faster than he thinks is inexcusable.
Wolfgang Pauli

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This paper is so bad, it is not even wrong.
Wolfgang Pauli

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The effort to understand the universe is one of the very few things that
lifts human life a little above the level of farce, and gives it  some of the
grace of tragedy.
S. Weinberg

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When I am judging a theory, I ask myself whether, if I were God,
I would have arranged the world in such a way.
Albert Einstein

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Physics is not a religion.
If it was, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Leon Lederman

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If you know the wavefunction of the universe,
why aren't you rich?
Gell-Mann to Hartle

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Freedom means the right to say that two plus two equals four.
Once this is achieved, all else follows.
George Orwell, 1984

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That any nation which gives up its freedom in pursuit of economic advantage deserves to lose both.
Thomas Jefferson

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The government cannot reduce the adult population to reading or viewing
only to what is appropriate for children.
Bruce Ennis

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If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.
Katharine Hepburn

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If God had meant for us to be naked,
we would have been born that way.

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If people could see the inside of my brain, I would be in prison.
Camille Paglia

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The law, in all its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor,
to sleep under the bridge, to beg on the street, and to steal bread.

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Medicine makes people ill, mathematics make them sad and theology makes
them sinful.
Luther, Martin (1483-1546)

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To live outside the law, you must be honest.
Bob Dylan

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A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night
and in between he does what he wants to do.
Bob Dylan

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Abstainer: "A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying
himself a pleasure"
Devil's dictionary

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Fiddle: "An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's
tail on the entrails of a cat"
Devil's dictionary

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There are three kinds of lies, lies, damn lies, and statistics"
Mark Twain

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Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog:
Nobody really enjoys it, and the frog generally dies as a result.
Mark Twain

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God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.
Paul Valery

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A genuine epitaph of a plot in Yorkshire, England:
        To all those people walking by,
        Where you are now, so once was I,
        Where I am now, you soon shall be.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Anonymous